I have just become aware of this brunch-hating screed published in the Washington City Paper this past October. City Desk reporter Jule Banville complains that she doesn't like brunch because she doesn't want to get dressed in the morning to "sit for hours over breakfast." The other main points of her diatribe are:
(1) She doesn't want to go outside with a "put-together outfit" as is supposedly required.
(2) She doesn't want to be tempted to drink "eight cups of coffee just because it’s there."
(3) She doesn't want to "listen to you and people I don’t know gab on about politics because it bores me."
(4) She doesn't want to "pay $20 for pancakes."
(5) She'd "prefer not to drink Champagne unless someone I know is celebrating something more significant than eggs"; as for bloody marys, they are "gross."
Finally, Jule concludes that "I must admit I don’t get brunch."
Well you know what, Jule, brunch doesn't get you either. First of all, it's D.C. not New York. You don't need to "shower" and put on a nice outfit to go out to brunch in this city (though it is preferable.) Nonetheless that complaint makes it seems like you just don't want to leave your house, it has nothing to do with brunch. You don't want to drink eight cups of coffee because they keep refilling your cup, and then be jittery? Amazingly there is an easy solution to that. Don't order coffee! Incredibly you also complain about listening to people in Washington, D.C. talking about politics. Again, nothing to do with brunch. That is all people in Washington talk about. Don't like politics, don't live in D.C. Sure, this supposedly $20 pancakes is probably a rip off. Order something else. There are plenty of reasonably priced and excellent brunch places. Like my top brunch list and brunch awards. Can't help you if you don't like mimosas or bloody marys. Obviously you've never taken advantage of their hangover-curing properties and, of course, their inherent deliciousness.
Though at the end of the diatribe, Jule finally reveals her true reason for hating brunch. Her "go-to is The Diner" in Adams Morgan but she can't get a table because it's too crowded. As I've repeatedly maintained, the Diner doesn't have very good food. Obviously her brunch tastes aren't up to par. Go somewhere else in Adams Morgan like the excellent La Fourchette, Bourbon, or L'Enfant.
D.C. Brunch Culture: It Sucks [Washington City Paper].